I'm not really good at writing in a brief/concise fashion, and I've never really written a proper about me before that didn't wind up feeling awkward come the end, so bear with me here. Haha, I said bear.

Hi, I'm Nez! Rather, I'm Neztic, but Nez just plain works better, and sounds great! Now, where to start... I may as well just start jotting down things!

Well, I'm 19, I'm Asexual, and I'm currently unsure about my gender as I've only really starting conducting about a week or two ago worth of loose research. I just know that I'm actively gender questioning. Maybe I can ramble about this on the blog soon?

Pronouns: they/them as primary, and he/him as secondary (because I'm just so desensitized to it. Though I greatly prefer they/them). Anything else, I guess you can say I'm open to try as I've never been called anything else before. So, you know what to do, lay it on me! (I aught to try one of those pronouns sites one day, hmmm....)

I have AuDHD, with the autism being on the low support needs side, and the ADHD being particularly gnarly. All completely undiagnosed because of the way my parents are, I had to figure it all out myself. With that in mind, if I do something weird, not paying attention or act like a numbskull regarding info that needs to be memorized, I apologize for that.

I am a very isolated and alienated person, partly out of unexplainable fear, trauma having to do with some really dumb and meaningless drama under an old alias yeeeeaaarrrrs ago, and also because I was brainwashed to their ideologies for a good portion of my life. But, I'm finally trying to get out there! I'm dry (well, depends on the topic really), but I simply crave socialization!! It took me so long to gain the confidence to get where I am today and I'm both excited and very nervous...

Regarding said trauma, I don't really want to get into it, but I will mention that I managed to get depression out of it. The friends that stuck with me at the time helped me get out of that rut gradually, and I thank them ruthlessly. Though, there's a chance I'm still not fully out of the woods yet. Still, this is the best I've been! I have made up with all the people who've wronged me already, but the sheer scale of it is something I'd never truly recover from. Nowadays, I have trouble expressing myself, but I hope to get out of that eventually.

The phrase "jack of all trades and master of none" is a very fitting descriptor of me; There's a lot I do on an inconsistent basis, and interest fluctuates. Self esteem doesn't help either, I often wonder what the point of my contributions are sometimes. So most commonly, I am doing nothing. I just hope the day I get medicated for ADHD is the day I can finally start doing things without hassle... There's a lot of things I want to do, essentially becoming a one-person powerhouse. The main things I think I can do well is 3D modeling (Utilizing Anim8or) and Unity C# programming.

Q&A

Why do you type so strangely?

Self taught! Like most things. My parents just don't understand me, and therefore weren't able to teach me properly. This came from years worth of muscle memory, and basing my own text off of others, so on and so fourth. I feel as if the way I currently write lacks emotion, and I've tried using things like smilies and such in passing, but from experience, it just makes me want to gag on the inside. What matters it that you can understand me.

What lead you to create this site?

Well, calling it a site is subjective, but my initial reasoning was that I felt like I just wasn't meant to speak to others, always letting my stress get the better of me. I was simply in a bad headspace at the time. So, what I wanted to do was start a blog where I exercise writing, jotting down stuff that happens, reviewing media, that sort of thing (As you know, I am a very isolated person thanks to my parents, so it makes sense. Plus, I'm just a talkative person in text in general). Initially, I was using Neocities and Zonelets, but kept finding it annoying to use. Bear is kind of amazing; It's very versatile if you're end goal is making a basic website with a blog component, and I love it. There was also this blog post I saw somewhere, called something like "[NAME], I think you should have a website", in which [NAME] was actually replaced by a name, but I don't remember it. It generally talked about how your knowledge would otherwise go to waste, among other things. Yeah, that spoke to me. I also just wanted a place that's truly mine, and don't have to deal with the conformities of social media. I don't know what the future of this page will be, but I hope it's a bright one!!

I apologize if this was a tad incoherent, I am tired at the time of writing. I'll refurbish/add more later.

Anyways, that's all I can think of to write at this time. Something I hope to do in the future is write, like, my entire life story as a blog post, so people could skim through and actually understand how I tick, instead of being assumptive. I feel as if I'm an interesting specimen with a peculiar life story to tell. Maybe that'll come soon?